Masters of Horror: The Washingtonians

Masters of Horror: The Washingtonians (2007)

“The Washingtonians” continues the line of hit or miss offerings from the Master of Horror series.  This one, though, is a miss.

A family moves into grandma’s home after her death and discovers that the Father of our Nation – and many of our Founding Fathers, in fact – was less “honorable, fatherly figure” and more “blood-thirsty cannibal”.   They also cross paths with the Washingtonians – a secret order dedicated to preserving Washington’s legacy, while enjoying his same, feral lifestyle.

The premise actually showed some promise.  The history books are written by the winners.  Many of the darker character aspects of our Founding Fathers have been covered up or simply not publicized over the years.  What if, snowed in at Valley Forge, Washington really HAD been forced to deplorable depths to survive with his men, only to find that he’d developed a taste for it?  What would people do to cover up that secret?

Sadly, this installment takes the easy way out and plays it as a dark comedy.  It has a few creepy moments, but those are quickly overshadowed by playing it over the top.  There’s some tension, for instance, when the Washingtonians have the family cornered in their home.  That disappears when they break down the doors, powdered wigs and all.  The ending is particularly silly and killed that little part fo me that wanted to give the whole thing a passing grade for its originality.


Stars: 2/5






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