Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter (2001)

The vampires are taking over and only Jesus can save us!  So the call is sent out for Jesus Christ to come and battle the forces of evil, but he’s going to need some help in the form of ass-kicking Mary Magnum and Mexican wrestling legend, El Santos.

I shouldn’t need to say this, but I will: this is a bad b-movie.  I mean “bad” in both senses of the word, though: “cheap and corny” as well as “not very good”.  The acting is what you’d expect from something that was probably shot over the course of a drunken weekend, the plot is even more ridiculous than it sounds as the vampires slowly take over the city by killing off lesbians.  Of course, the vampires can walk around in the daylight (because clearly, they couldn’t afford the lighting to shoot at night), but props to the film makers for an oddball explanation (and know, they don’t sparkle – so there’s that).

That said, it’s hard to deny that parts of it are fun.  The final showdown includes some of the most ridiculous fighting you’ll ever see (choreographed with the same precision and skill as the acting direction).  Also, a lot of the flaws are easily explained away by the fact that THIS IS A MOVIE ABOUT JESUS AND A LUCHADOR FIGHTING VAMPIRES.  Yes, the character interactions are bad, the concepts weak and the dialog ridiculous, but we’re talking about a movie where Jesus has his Gethsemane moment of soul searching with a talking ice cream sundae.

The film overcomes some of its warts but certainly not all – there’s a lot of untapped potential for such a unique premise.  There are fun moments, but they just don’t cancel out all the pained groans – from the viewer as well as the vampires.

Stars: 2.5/5

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